The blessing of adversity in life

For the past few weeks I have been thinking of the value of adversity in our lives. Today is Pioneer Day in Utah, and it reminds us to celebrate the arrival of the first Latter Day Saints into the valley of the Great Salt Lake. It was a fairly empty place, (not a place anyone would dream of had they the choice of a paradise) to escape from the enemies who had driven the Saints from place to place. So many people died. So many were murdered for their belief in Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. We honor their faith, their diligence, their persistence, and just dogged determination. Because of them we have these lovely valleys and towns along the Wasatch Front in Utah, and many other places of refuge in Idaho, Wyoming, Nevada, Arizona, and Mexico. I have many ancestors who walked across the plains with their entire lives in the wagons or handcarts next to them, or the livestock they brought with them. Because of them, I am who and what I am. I have the same values they had, and I can only declare my gratitude for the heritage they have given me.
     But who would they have been without the adversity? Would they have developed the same courage, tenacity, and self-reliance? Would they have learned to rely on the Lord without those trials? Who are we today? Have our trials strengthened our lives, enlarged our vision and perspective, brought us closer to God as we bow beneath the load?
     I can remember the many times I have gone to the Lord on bended knees, begging for help with the trials we faced, the needs, the crises in our life. So many times I simply begged for the trial to evaporate, please take it away, I don't think I can do this! But gradually I would realize that He was helping me through it, instead of removing it from my life. I can remember dark days and darker nights, feeling as though there would be no good resolution to the problems. But, I was wrong. I would not give up what I learned as I completed those heavy trials. I would not give up the strength of soul that I gained. I definitely would not give up the relationship I have gained with my Heavenly Father, not for any amount of money or lack of trial.
     In musing upon adversity, I see it now as my greatest of blessings. I don't think I could have the deeply satisfying relationship with my husband, if I had not experienced the growth of soul and character that came from my earlier trials. As I see the trials of my children and grandchildren, it isn't easy to see them suffer and struggle; but, I do know that it will be to their benefit. A benefit here on earth and through all eternity.
     Adversity is a refining fire, it brings the gold buried within to the surface; where we can use it to accomplish the requirements of our life here on earth. When we develop those "gold" talents and skills, we can bless the lives of others, bring change to our communities, and subtly, to the world around us.
     My prayers are for all who are going through deeply painful trials; for the Lord to comfort them, and to watch over them as He has always watched over me. It truly is not easy, it is a very painful process. But, I promise, it will bring greater joy than can be had without the trials. I do see adversity as one of the Lord's greatest blessings to us on this earth.

The Smells of Summer

I love the smells of summer. I love the fragrance of a fir tree in the shade on a hot, sunny day. I also love the "forest smells" early in the morning from the canyon winds or breezes. I love the smell of roses, of fresh mown lawns, and of freshly cut hay. I actually love all the flower smells. I love the look of geraniums on my balcony off our bedroom. I love the smells of the neighbors having an outdoor barbeque, or the yummy smells of our own barbeque. I love the smell of sunshine, sidewalks, and lawns.
I love the smells of a coming rain storm. Lightening, thunder, rain on the house, road, lawn, and garden all have a certain smell. I love a long lingering rain, that refreshes the earth and everything on it. I love the smell of sunshine on a freshly rained on hill, or lawn, or road.
I remember the smells of summer when I was a child. The smell of hot dirt, that I loved to rub my bare toes in. The smell and feel of the shade of our weeping willow, the smells of leather and horse in the barn.
As I age, my nose does not smell as well as it did when I was younger, I miss some of the more subtle scents, but I do so enjoy the smells I can smell!
I love the smell of corn on the cob, and the smell of husking the corn. I love the smells of summer tomatoes, and the anticipation of a real garden tomato, not the plastic, non smelling, winter tomatoes. I love the smell of new potatoes, new onions, and spinach fresh from the soil.
I just enjoy the smell of a wonderful world. It isn't often that I stop and realize how much those smells and memories enrich my life. I love this life!!

It has been so long since I took the time to "muse". Life goes along at a breakneck pace sometimes. I have spent a week watching my 4 youngest grandchildren while my daughter in law went to Girl's Camp with the 2 older granddaughters. I have spent a week having acute diverticulitis, and a week doing a few hours of being an election judge for the "early voting" segment of our State Primaries. I have enjoyed much of the things I have been doing, and suffered thru the diverticulitis, and the bad reaction to the antibiotic when I went home from the hospital. There were other things, but I look and wonder where all the time went.
     I have a long list of things I would like to get done. Organizing, cleaning, painting, refinishing,....the list does seem endless at times. I do not mind an endless list, that way I never get bored, and life is interesting. I began an intensive exercise program last month. My sweet hubby bought me a glider to use, because it allows me to exercise without impact on my joints. I was doing 10 miles per day, then I got the diverticulitis thing, and will need to wait a few more days until I am over all that.
     My brother, Marvin, remarried last Saturday. I am so happy for him. He and his new bride, Delorice, are no longer lonely and aching. They love each other, and have found joy, friendship, and love again. The light has come back into their lives. The lights went out for them when their spouses passed away. Now life is good again. Marvin's kids are still adjusting, but the pain of seeing Marvin move on after the death of their mother and grandmother will pass. We pray that they will be able to move on soon, and see the positive changes in their Dad's life, that he is happy again. Neither Marvin and Delorice will forget their spouses who have passed away, but now they can have someone to share life with. I am so glad!
     Our children and grandchildren are doing well, and that brings such a great measure of peace. So........life is rushing so quickly this month, but it should return to "normal" in July. I wonder how that will go? I hope I can get to some of my projects, and feel the peace of having them done, and the beauty and joy I find in doing them. Looking at the balance of my life....it is good. I feel blessed.

I haven't been at the computer for a couple of weeks or so. After becoming a county delegate at the precinct caucus, going to a lot of meet the candidate meetings, and searching out the candidates information on their web pages - I then went to the County Convention. It was fine, slow, and accomplished the task of deciding who would be put on the General Election ticket or who would go to the Primary Election where the voters will decide who will be the Republican offering at the General Election.
Jerry flew to DC (that same day as the County Convention) to attend a convention concerned with Mail and Shipping, stamps, etc. I fell ill that evening and was very ill for the next 5 days (and nights). I had fevers, chills, and gripping pain in my abdomen, and the beginnings of a bladder infection. Not fun!!! Thank goodness I had Rachel to help me out and listen to my moans and groans. But I am well now, and very glad to have the misery in the past.
Isn't it interesting how pain distances one from the normal everyday world. I didn't read much, I didn't watch TV, I just suffered and waited for normality to come slowly back. I think that pain and grief do that to us. We just go on, one step at a time, sometimes cocooned in the immensity of grief or pain, other times we feel empty and somehow altered from what we were "before" or what we consider is our "norm". Light slowly comes back when we have deep grief from loss of access to our loved ones; and a physical fragility is associated with an experience of great pain that has passed. One of the great joys I have is the contemplation of having no pain after we leave this life. Just that one thing seems worthy of my best efforts in order to obtain that good place where I will no longer have pain. When I was young, I was healthy, and wondered what it would feel like to have constant pain, or arthritis, or have handicaps. I have those answers now, and know what it feels like....but I don't want to experience them for eternity!!! Sometimes eternity is the length of a night's intense pain. Time passes so very slowly that one wonders at simply getting through the night. But all of these things slowly pass. Grief lessens as time passes, although there are moments or days that bring back the intensity of the initial grief. Years pass and much becomes bearable where grief and loss have been endured. Ongoing chronic pain is simply endured, and proves to have different levels of intensity also. As the years pass, and accumulate, I can see how one would be ready to go on to the next level of life in passing from this world. Some of my older friends explain at the death of a long lived relative, "they were so ready to go, they felt that they had lived a good life, they were ready". I hope that I will be ready 20 or 30 years from now, if my work is done, if I have served and helped, and given of my heart and soul to all in need.....then maybe I, too, will be ready for the harvest beyond the veil. But right now, there is still much to do!!!

When Politics swings its confrontational head again.

I hate Politics. I love freedom, and I also love freedom of speech, and everyone's right to vote. I always vote, and as long as I have breath and the privilege of voting, I most certainly will vote. I am very conservative, and I have watched over the years as our country has become a "gimme" source. Mr Obama was voted in because many people thought he would give them the things they want from the government. Not the right to be self supporting, and fiscally conservative; but the "right" to have handouts, to "have a law" governing every conceivable choice people might make. The Prophet Joseph Smith said (paraphrased) "I teach people correct principles and they govern themselves". That is how it should be, we should be able to make good choices, and live with our neighbors, and follow the laws that govern moral behavior. Now we are going to be unable to make our individual choices about Health care, when did that become the government's job? There are a multitude of laws that have eroded our personal freedoms, and I fear for our country in the coming years. I do not fear for myself, I know the Lord watches over me and my family, but I do wonder where all this erosion will leave our beautiful country. I see great evil on all sides, what will happen as we, as a nation, try to set aside the God who said this is a chosen land, and when the people choose evil, there will be repercussions....from God, directly. We may think the elements run themselves, but it is not so, the Lord is the one in charge, and His presence will be felt, has been felt, is being felt everywhere on earth.
     I would like to see everyone who is able to step up and vote. I wonder if there would be a change in the direction our country is now taking. I would hope so! I fervently pray that it will BE so, but I have a heavy heart to think that Mr Obama might be voted in again, and then the toboggan our country is on will go down very fast indeed! I urge you to vote, every single vote does count. The only majorities are made up of many single votes....there isn't any other way! And pray, pray for our Country.

Becoming ourselves, day by day.

I just watched a short video about flowers developing their blooms. It was beautiful, and I thought about each one of us changing and developing, becoming a beautiful person, showing our own personal traits and beauties. Each flower is different from the others, some are large and full bloomed, some are small and delicate. I have tried to include the link to the video here. http://player.vimeo.com/video/27920977?title=0&%3bbyline=0&%3bportrait=0href= Each of us has some special personality trait that makes us different from all our siblings and friends. We often look at other's traits and wish we could be like them. Taller, shorter, thinner, fatter, full-bodied, slimmer, better hair, curlier hair, straighter hair, the list goes on and on. What we fail to see is the beauty within ourselves. It is best viewed by others, it is hard to see ourselves clearly, especially when we want to accomplish good things in our life. We also see reflections of "perfection" in the media around us. We should all be so tall, weigh so much, have so much energy, have lovely hair, and a lovely body (determined by a composite on the computer), be so smart, be so educated, earn so much money.....again that list never ends. However, we are sent here by a loving Heavenly Father. We each look like a composite of our ancestors. We inherit some of their strengths, and some of their weaknesses (physically). What we often fail to see and clearly understand is how absolutely beautiful we are! JUST as we are! We discount our good points and dwell on our weak points and end up not liking ourselves very much. But we don't have to do that. We can accept that we are not going to look like a movie star, we are simply going to be ourselves. Think of the people you really truly love, do you really care if they weigh just so much, or if their skin is free from blemishes, or if they are aging and showing wrinkles, etc. ? My Mother's mother was such a lovely person, how I love her and how I adored her. She worried about her thinning hair, I loved her for the person she was, and the wisdom she shared, and the love she had for me. Isn't that true for the people WE love? Then perhaps the true secret of beauty is to love others and accept them for who they are, and love them as they are.....and miracles happen.....because then we are loved and accepted too. Pretty neat, huh?

Gardens

It is nearly March. In March I usually start thinking about preparing for gardens. I don't have much space for gardening just now, but I still think about it. I look at the farmers fields along the road here and they have already begun tilling the soil for the coming crops. There are so many kinds of gardens. Vegetable gardens, fruit orchards, grain and corn fields, beet fields, flower gardens, and so many more. There are gardens of the mind,also. How do we till, and sow, those gardens of our minds? What do we fill our minds with? Do we read good books with contemplative thoughts of people through the ages? Do we watch TV? Do we read romance novels or other books about as deep as thin plastic wrap? Do we surf the web for hours? Are we taking time to sit and think? Are we aware of the beauty and peace of the mountains, valleys, rivers, and oceans nearby? Do we see the little flowers along the way? The beauty and shape of a fallen leaf? I love to see the sun rise, the light that glows on the mountains, the house next door, the golden light on my floor and walls. I love the glow of light through the plant leaves, and the uplift that comes each time I see it. I love looking out my windows to see the flowers I plant each year. I love deep red geraniums, set next to white alyssum. I also love deep purple pansies, and rich colored marigolds. I also love to see my tomato plants grow. We enjoy eating tomatoes from the garden, so we plant them. A garden of lettuce, carrots, spinach, green peas, green beans, cucumbers, and tomatoes.....there is nothing that tastes so good as a fresh veggie from our very own garden, unless of course, our neighbor shares with us!! I think gardens of all kinds bring us renewal and peace. A kind of joy for the season, and gratitude to the Lord for all His bounties....year round. I think this renewal comes when we read good books, listen to a good sermon, or receive peace to our hearts and minds during a period of meditation, or prayer. What a wonderful experience we can have during our lives here on earth!! So much to be grateful for. So much.

Time - a short term commodity.

Time is always of the essence. We can use our time in any way we choose. We can meditate, ponder, view the world around us, do a good deed, accomplish a chosen task, invent something new, watch a sunrise or sunset, interact with other people, read, or anything we choose. We can follow directions from someone in authority over us, such as doing the chores assigned us at work, or we can be the person who assigns other's chores and jobs. We can do something "useful" or we can watch a baby learn to crawl, or think of how the world is affecting us. Often "useful" is determined by other's viewpoints, but often the most useful thing we can do is something that is useful in our own perspective. Visiting someone who needs to just have someone to listen to them is useful - to them, but in the long run, very useful to us, because service is the most "useful" use of our time in our lives. In order to be of use to others, we need to have "water" or substance in our "well". That means we need to take time to define our personal parameters. We need to know how we relate to our God, we need to take time to study the scriptures, we need to spend time in prayer, we need to know how our God feels about us...we need to know if, and how much, He loves us...personally. My understanding of how truly Heavenly Father knows me is the foundation for my soul. He knows my innermost thoughts, needs, joys, and sorrows. He will judge me justly. I know this, and it gives me great peace and security. He has given each of us the blessing of time. Time to learn, grow, and prove ourselves to Him. I love Him for this, and I am so grateful for the experience.